I am content…
I am content with the fullness of my life.
 I have five wonderful children and six sweet grand children who are my legacy in this world. 
I have a teacher who gives me the gift of his presence and knowledge.
I have a practice that inspires and guides my path.
I seem to have it all.
Like the river I sit by every day, the flow of my life goes on to a place where it will find it’s finish in the vast ocean of fulfillment.
But yet the waters, my life, are beyond my view toward that spaciousness. I construct the path of the river to the ocean as if I knew the direction it takes and I know that is mind, not true.
I have a longing now for only the second time in this life. I want to change the direction of the river to my own course. I want to take the suffering of one other and make it mine. To assume the suffering and give away my contentment. If only it was that easy.
At the start of my 70th year I want to trade places with one half my time and let him go on and sit by his river without the burden of his suffering as I have more history than future.
If only it was that easy and possible.
I know it isn’t.
First Nation people have pain eaters who can take the pain of another and make it theirs.
That is my hope but not my reality.
Each of us is in the river on our own course and we find our way as best we can. The strength of our faith, our practice, is our tiller as we negotiate the rapids, boulders and obstructions that come in our lifestream. In the flow we carry the weight of the frailty of our humanness and destined by our suffering.
If I could change places and assume the other’s suffering I would do so gladly with humility and grace.
But I can’t.
So I guess I’m not content…

Challenges…

No one ever said life would be easy. There are always bumps in the road. 
For some they are dips and little bumps but for others they are the hole in the road in the dark night of life that can knock you off your path and cause you to swerve, correct and wonder how bad the damage might be.
How we correct is the determination to get back on the path, in the right direction and continue the journey.
Some people are afraid of the road and don’t want to go on. Some are confident that they are in the right vehicle and know how to stay the course.
We have a choice. We can be afraid to go forward or we can be brave and go on.
Your choice is determined by your faith in your ability to handle any bump and the hope that your destination makes the trip worthwhile…

The River is my Teacher

Sitting by the river in my favorite looking space I see how the rain infused river changed the subtle flow of before.The water still flows and the big rocks are unmoved by the turbulence but the smaller rocks and the banks now have a different face.
the flow of our life can be tranquil or turbulent as well and if we are like the smaller rocks we will roll with it and find that when the waters recede and life is in its flow again, although the  banks may not look the same the flow is still going on and us with it.
I understand that turbulence will happen in my life and even with its roar and power I can stay buoyant, not resist and wind up where it takes me. I will be some place else, different banks but in the same river life.
Everything changes and nothing is permanent but the flow of life will always be there, with and without me.
Today I understand this more and realize the river stands a better chance than I do and is a good teacher...